Marry Me

No matter the year, a film no one expected nor wanted is made, and in 2022’s case, Kat Coiro’s Marry Me is a prime example. This wishy-washy, romantic comedy released right before valentine’s day shows that, regardless of how gorgeous or charismatic a cast may be, a ridiculous plot and an uncomfortable lack of on-screen chemistry can endanger the quality of a film. Unfortunately for Marry Me, it had no chance of winning a majority of audiences as soon as the first trailer dropped. At the forefront, Jennifer Lopez plays the obnoxiously famous fictional pop star, Kat Valdez, who is currently engaged to Bastian played by Maluma. Kat and Bastian announce they will perform their wedding ceremony during a live concert in front of 20 million fans but to Kat’s surprise, she discovers a viral video of Bastian cheating on her. Her nervous breakdown, as well as impulsiveness, convinces her to randomly point out Charlie (Owen Wilson) in the middle of the crowd and marry him. The unusual pair must now take time to learn if this arbitrary marriage can work or if their two significantly different worlds will collide explosively. 

Given how completely ludicrous this plot is written, you’ll find yourself having to pull attention away to wonder what the writers must have been thinking. At no point does the film feel real or remotely logical at any point, it more or so sets itself up purely as a cliched rom-com for a select few to gobble up legitimately. And with the dull cinematography and intermediate characterization, Marry Me becomes more of a washed up, high budgeted Hallmark film. And what’s frustrating is how it becomes genuinely difficult to convince yourself of any of the characters on screen for most of the runtime. Specifically, Wilson and Lopez’s character, their chemistry and overall relationship desperately needed an overhaul of writing to create a more cohesive pair. And seeing how the film is nearly 2 hours long, tolerating such a bland couple becomes mundane and repetitive to endure. 

Even with such a composition of monotonous character writing, the film does contain a fair bit of appeal that does magnetize with the film’s ridiculous plot. Not to contradict myself, but the overall plot is so absurdly written and structured, it becomes laughable and overly entertaining. Though it may not be a positive for the film’s general rating, it certainly helps audiences distract themselves from the corny dialogue and deplorable writing. Coupled with the lack of attention to the screenplay, you’ll notice how the film almost becomes a musical with the number of times we cut to a scene to play an entire song featuring Lopez’s talents. Throughout some points, you begin asking yourself, “is this just an extended cut for a music video?”. It feels almost meta to some extent, pulling you from the immersion if you even felt immersed in the first place. 

And with Marry Me’s runtime almost extending the 2-hour mark, the film does feel too long for the material and message they’re going for. It’s complete with a contrived plot that makes no sense for the characters setup at the beginning of the film and weirdly specific tropes are thrown into the grueling cake mix that is this movie. I also have a feeling that Owen Wilson was held at gunpoint for the entire production as he felt the most linear and dull, showing a slight tinge of motivation and effort. It becomes remarkably distracting considering Wilson is such a charismatic actor to begin with, his performance gives off cardboard box syndrome. 

Ultimately, Kat Coiro’s newest romantic comedy dumbs itself down and lacks any real elements to construct any reasonable plot. The film converts into a major guilty pleasure film rather quickly and although the film is pleasantly charming (for the wrong reason albeit), do not expect to take it seriously. In a way, Marry Me is perhaps a perfect film for those looking for an easy-to-swallow love story containing wholesome humor and the classic romcom charm, including mind numbing dialogue, crumbling rom-com movie tropes and a barrage of hilarious product placement. This run-of-the-mill valentine’s film will not exceed expectations.